Cunny man die, Cunny man bury (Pidgin
Story) part 1

I just lie down for my room dey fan myself. The heat no gree me sleep, sweat bin dey
drip from my body like sey I enter rain. Upon the heat, the music wey dey blast from
Emeka room no gree me sleep. That im 'I pass my neighbour' generator wey im dey on
from afternoon to night just position for back of my window.
Monday to Sunday, Emeka no dey go work. All im sabi na to carry all manner of girls
come house. Na so dem go dey sidon for centre of yard dey drink wine and chop
chicken, then for night dem go dey fuck dey shout, so tey nobody no go fit sleep for.
But money good o. If not for money, how im go manage to knack all the fine girls
wey im dey knack? Wit all my fine boy swag, I neva fit carry the kind girls wey Emeka
day carry. The last time I invite one babe come my house, I nearly break her head with
bottle, if no be Mama Chidinma stop me.
I bin meet Ngozika for Madam Totonto bar. Chuks carry me go dia with some of im
friends make we go take one bottle, before the match start. She bin dey wit some of her
friends but me I no send, I waka go meet her.
I tell her sey I wan see her in private, normal girl shakara, she do like sey she no hear
me. After much graa graa, she stand up follow me go one corner. Na dat time wey I see
her full beauty. I come see say Ngozika no fine for only face but her baka na die. She
way she waka nearly make my John Thomas to rise.
She tell me sey she dey learn tailoring for he aunty shop, come give me her number.
As she dey go back to her sit, na so my guys just dey eye her dey lick mouth. For my
mind, I don hammer.
After three days of constant begging, she gree to come my house. I don already buy two
cans of malt and one packet of cracker biscuit put inside fridge to use entertain her, only
for she to tell me sey she no wan drink malt, na Carlo Rossi she wan drink.
The tin pain me but as a big boy I have to bone. I go outside call Chikordi, my landlady
son to to go buy the drink come. Na my last N1,700 I give am to go buy the drink. As a
big girl wey I rate Ngozika to be, I expect her to use softly take the drink but in less than
20 minutes, she don finish the whole tin.
For my mind I don dey happy, thinking sey the babe go let me into her kpekus, only
for her to tell me sey she dey hungry and she wan chop goat meat peppersoup. Na so I
scratch my head. How I wan take buy her peppersoup when money no dey my hand? To
tell her sey I no get money go be big fuck up.
Na so I stroll go meet Anayo, my next door neighbour to borrow me N1,000.
As I come back, Ngozika dey for bed dey press her phone. She nearly fly from the bed
when she see me wit the bowl wey I carry for hand.
Even though I neva chop since morning, I get to form big boy allow her to chop the
food alone. For my mind, I tink sey she go remain small, so dat when she go, I go
freestyle the remaining but dis girl chop the whole meat, drink all the water join.
I tank God sey light dey that day. I come insert one Nigerian film make we dey
watch. As we dey watch na, I dey take one eye dey eye Ngozika as she just lie for bed.
Her yansh just shoot out for the leggings wey she wear. I come dey tink wetin to do, na
so I come decide to use the love system.
I ask her weda she get boyfriend she come talk sey she no get. Thinking sey my pattern
go work, I come tell her sey I want make she be my girlfriend. Na so she laff fall for
ground, so tey I come dey wonder weda wetin I talk wey dey funny.